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Jakarta, Indonesia
1984 . capricorn . easily amused yet moody . proud to be indonesian . procrastinator big time . a nerd, yes i am . family comes first . lucky for having the bestest bestfriends :)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

yakin bisa move on?

sepupu gw nulis di blog nya 3 posts terakhir buat gebetan nya, ato bisa gw sebut mantan gebetan according to her. yang pertama she wished him a happy birthday. nice. the second one she wrote sayonara which means she WAS ready to let him go. knp gw bikin gede2 tulisan was nya? soalnya di post dia yg terakhir she realized about something. gmana bisa move on kl tiba2 dia ngedenger sebuah band yg menyanyikan sebuah lagu yg liriknya sangat sangat sangat dalam dan yes, makes her remember him again. BAM !

and sadly, that happens to me too. yes, mister. me, the cousin.
i used to have a SUPER BIG CRUSH on someone whom i call my good friend in my campus. apparently he's not indonesian and you'd notice that he was pretty outsider among peeps from his country. at least he admitted that. well i didn't care. he was nice. no he IS nice. and i fell for him. but he had a girlfriend that time. shoot!

suddenly, i heard rumors that he broke up with the girlfriend. *yayness?* and we started to talk more often and send simple yet meaningful messages *well for me tho LOL* like good night or good morning and have lunch together couple of times. berharap? pasti dong. boong banget kl ga ngarep. tmen2 gw mulai men-cieh2-prikitipiw-in gw. kalo kata anak2 sekarang "CAPEEEK DEEEEH"

di saat gw lagi seneng2 nya naek ke langit ke lima *blm sampe tujuh bo" tiba2...........

"gw mau militer", he said

WHAT????!!!!

yeap, gw shock berat krn militer itu minimal 2 taun. dan gw dsana waktu itu ga nyampe 2 taun lagi.. means gw bakal lulus duluan sblm dia balik lagi. means: I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE HIM AGAIN. that was a strike. big time, if you wanna know. sad? ya iyaaaa laaaahhh.. gw kalang kabut. mau nangis ga bisa but it made me pretty stress. gw cerita ke bbrp tmen deket gw dan mrk bilang "you have to CONFESS" OH MY GOD. i never confessed before. and i didn't want to. gw, pada saat itu, masih memegang budaya conservative di mana cewek itu TIDAK confess ttg perasaan nya. gw keukeuh ga mau confess sampe akhirnya gw tau kl dia bakal pergi hari berikut nya. DANG !

akhirnya setelah gw berpikir keras dan keras dan keras dan tidak juga menjadi lunak, gw confess secara implisit.
krn gw ga berani ngomong langsung gw kirimin dia lagu. and same as my cousin. abis nunggu bbrp lama, he said THANK YOU. ha! so much for the confession ya. saat itu gw jadi bingung sebenernya bener ga sih gw confess? ato harusnya gw ga usah ngomong apa2? maybe i should've let it to myself. that's what i thought.

and dia pun pergi *halah* gw membuka email dan yak! dia mengirim email ke gw. deg2an gw baca sambil gigit lantai. sampai satu line akhirnya gw tereak sekenceng2nya bak *busyet udah brp abad gw ga denger nih kata hihihi* ronaldo nge-gol-in bola ke gawang lawan. gw gak tau knp nyebutnya ronaldo dan gw ga peduli krn dia ga ada hubungan sm cerita gw. enggak, gebetan gw sama sekali ga mirip sama ronaldo if you ask. hohohohoho.

back to the main issue.

dia confess juga! hah! there you go.
dia bilang kl dia suka sama gw sebagai teman. dan LEBIH dr tmen. okay, what's that supposed to mean? i know i was naive. gw harus manggil roommate gw dan nanya maxud dia apa. and she was smiling while reading the email. dia bilang gw ga bertepuk sebelah tangan. HOREEEEEEEEE "i should be happy, rite?" okay, dia emang nekenin kl dia cuman mau jadi tmen. so that's it. gw ga bisa dan ga mgk berharap apa2. krn: pertama he wrote it clearly. kedua dia udah jaoh gitu looooh. tapi tiba2 terakhir dia nulis one phrase yg bakal gw inget mgk seumur idup gw.
kl di bahasa indo artinya: orang yg bener2 gw suka. thank you :)

gw masih email2an buat bbrp bulan tapi akhirnya qta lost contact sm sekali. dia udah ga bales email gw. ga pernah online sampe gw bener2 berhenti berharap. i moved on. at least i thought i moved on. sampe tiba2 bbrp hari yg lalu dia nulis di BUKUMUKA gw kata2 yg sama persis yg dia tulis hampir 2 taun yg lalu: orang yg bener2 gw suka. dan gw pun tumbang.

GIMANA BISA MOVE ON KL GINI CARANYA?

4 lovess:

Dimpul said...

wakakakakakakka.....dasar ungu, membuat para jomblo kesepian seperti gw (dan elo?) makin terpuruk ke dalam sumur yang dalem. Ditambah lagi evan sanders ketauan homo sama bule super ganteng (duh ga nyambung). Yah mbak ai u got the point la ya.., tapi kalo boleh berasumsi sih, si moon geyong atao siapalah namanya itu sebenernya emang ada rasa sama elo, cuman dia segera get real dan liat kenyataan. Beda negara, mau militer, dsb dsb. Nah karena itu dia mundur teratur daripada kalo diterusin malah jadinya berantakan. Aduh komen gw kepanjangan ya, ehhehehehehe

Ai said...

panjang dan jleb jleb jleb. hahahaha iya sih, gw jg sadar mgk kl diterusin malah jadi runyam. jadi ya sudahlah..

dan ijinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya, kl kata ungu

nozzy said...

aduh eh aduh eh ngakak deh gw eh bingung deh gw eh ah uh hahahahahhaha

gimana ya i.... susye.. si daisukina.. uhuks hahahhahhaha

jadi eh jadiii, lu udah nglirik2 dia sejak jaman dia masih ama si kucing-nya usagi tsukino itu toh i?
ckckck... jadi apa maksud dulu ngata2in gw ma dia hehh??? palsu semua, palsuuuuuuuuuu hahahahahah

Ai said...

bukan begitu jeng neno. dulu sukanya ya gitu2 aja hahaha trus sumpah ya gw lupa gw pernah ngatain loe sama dia. hahahahaha... tapi loe cocok kok no.. ayo ayo gw katain lagi aja apa?? hahahaha

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