. . . zutto ikite . . .

hontou. atashi ga kono you na dorama wo hajimete mita, ichi ritoru no namida. eigo de '1 litre of tears'. saisho wa futsuu no kanashii dorama mitai to omotta. demo ne, zenzen chigatta. doko ka chigau tokoro wakannai kedo, nanka chigau. ehem. kore kara eigo de kaku. i heard about this dorama from my cousin. when he told me about it, i just thought "aaaahhh.. another sad story ne!" i wasn't that interested because i was watching dorama 'Kimi Wa Petto' and it's so freaking funny. then as i finished watching kimi wa petto, the next day i was thinking of watching this series. and i began. big mistake?

1st episode was fine. it was starting to be a sad story but i could handle it tho'. as i watched another episodes, tissue became my loyal "friend". douzo laugh, call me being too sentimentil or a cry-baby but i cried. hehehehe. okay the story is basically about a 15 year-old girl suffered from incurable disease. sounds like the story-next-door? i know. maybe 1 thing that makes this series special is the 'based on true story' thingy. we can really feel her happiness when she was accepted in high ranking high school and met her crush in junior high school. we can feel her anxiety when she knew something was wrong inside her body. we can see how she struggled alone. how the eyes kept staring when she walked strangely.

i cried before when i watched sad movies but i never cried this much and it was tiring to finish all episodes. right from the moment she was a normal girl until she couldn't walk, couldn't talk, couldn't write and even couldn't swallow properly. taihen da! but luckily she got her family. her friends. and her [what should i call him] boy friend? she got this diary she wrote everyday and some of her phrases are catchy. for instance "okaasan, kono byouki wa nande atashi wo eranda?" is it fate? coz it's unfair. it makes me think how ungrateful people, including me, of their health. smokes, drugs, beers, suicidal, what are these for anyway? we are lucky and we should aware of that. we're not thanking GOD enough.

then "okaasan, atashi wa kekkon dekiru?" . future. it makes me think again how married people, excluding me hehehe, ungrateful with their marriage life. i know humans are greedy. that's what he said in one of the episodes. that's natural, right? but sometimes it's just too much. funny isn't it? how person's life can be totally different from others. that's life anyway. when some people are struggling with their lives, trying to keep on living, some others are ruining it, trying to stop it. gosh. that's totally life.

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i wonder, atashi ga nani ka dekiru kanaaa ~~